That's It! I'm Moving to Neverland!

I have had enough of being a grown up. I mean, it used to be pretty cool with perks such as staying up as late as I wanted, going wherever I wanted, and eating as much ice cream as I wanted, any time I wanted. Now, I'm way behind on my obligations, elbow deep in dirty diapers, would sell my kidney for extra sleep, have a car that won't work, and a baby that won't allow me to eat ice cream. All in all, I feel a little ripped off.

Maybe I'll move to Neverland.

This may be why so many young "adults" wait to grow up. I can see the allure in a life where your budget has ample wiggle room, and you live in a home that you own, the walls of which are adorned by framed diplomas before embarking on the marvelous and challenging journey of parenthood.

By the way, I would move to Neverland, except that moving is like super concentrated grown up work...blech


There was a time, when I was so afraid of the responsibility that comes with being a parent that just thinking about becoming one made me feel a little sick. When Zac and I both realized that it was time to start a family, we were...well, we were freaking out! We were trying to dig ourselves out of the trenches of car repair debt, living with family, and had no idea where our lives were headed. I'm sure that there are ways to be less "ready" to have a baby, but I can't really think of any applicable ones. I did a whole lot of searching, pondering, and praying and stumbled upon 1 Nephi 17 verses 50 and 51.

 50 And I said unto them: If God had commanded me to do all things I could do them. If he should command me that I should say unto this water, be thou earth, it should be earth; and if I should say it, it would be done.

51 And now, if the Lord has such great power, and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men, how is it that he cannot instruct me, that I should build a ship?

This had a profound impact on me, and I decided to be faithful like Nephi and trust that if he could build a ship, then I could have a baby. Soon my heart changed and I found that I had the courage to do what had before seemed impossible.

Seven months later I was pregnant with Henry, and during my pregnancy amazing things happened! Zac was accepted to a school, I got a high paying short-term job that allowed us to pay off our debts, and our friends and family rallied around us to make the entire process much more do-able. These were huge blessings for us, but we still didn't have the financial security many consider prerequisite for starting a family. News Flash: Those prerequisites don't matter! When the time is right, it's right.



Henry was born when we had been married for about a year and a half, other couples begin a family immediately, others after five years or longer. The time table for each couple is different, so I can't dictate when the time is right for anybody else. All I know is that every moment I am in awe of Henry's perfection, and it makes me shudder to think that if I had let the fear of unpreparedness keep us from beginning a family at that time, than the glorious and unique combination of cells and soul that is my son, Henry, would not exist. Putting off starting a family when the time is right is always, without exception, a huge mistake.


My heart hurts for people who chose to pursue careers or possessions in place of beginning a family, and truly breaks for those who desire and pray for a child, but have not been blessed with one yet. I know that nothing I could ever earn or own would be superior to being a mother. Mother and Father may be common place titiles, but they are still distinguished.

That being said, Neverland is still tempting at times.

Now my biggest problem is that I keep noticing that Henry is growing up, and it is quite devastating. For example, last week Henry wasn't ready to go down at bedtime. I apparently tearfully told him that he could either go to sleep or stay awake listening to me cry while telling him about how he is growing up too fast. He chose sleep. Afterward Zac told me "This happens every time you don't feel well or get too tired...it's weird."

I'm going to take him with me when I move.  (And Zac, of course!)

Actually, on second thought, we'll just stay here. Life is more complicated, taxing, and stressful with our little bundle of joy, but I don't mind the difficulty. It is also happier, more exciting, and fuller. I think we will save Neverland for all who foolishly choose not to grow up. Being a grown up is awesome, but it has less to do with ice cream than I had originally thought. Life as a grown up is actually amazing because embracing grown up responsibilities gives you the opportunity to become the absolute best version of yourself, and to make the best possible mark on the world. I guess I don't feel ripped off at all, I feel blessed and rewarded beyond measure. Though, I am still keenly interested in more sleep if anyone is in need of a kidney...

*Note: This post is not written as a judgement on anyone. I know how scary starting a family can be, and my intent is to share my experience in the hope that it might help others have confidence in their own intuitive decisions.

Could You Please Stop Being So Sensitive? (+ 2 Recipes)

My beautiful baby boy is sensitive. I knew he would be before he was even born because a soothsayer at the San Diego Zoo told me so.  Zac and I were happily walking and waddling, respectively, toward the panda bear exhibit when a strange woman began keeping pace with us about a yard and a half to our left. This was our encounter:

"Hey little momma! When you gonna let that little baby out so the world can see 'em?"

 "In about three weeks," I replied, choosing to be my smiling and happy pregnant self.

"Keep on walkin' momma, it comes faster than you think." She picked up her pace now, moving ahead of us.

"Ok," I said quietly, thinking she had lost interest in us.

I was wrong.

She used her lead to make a u-turn and stop right in front of us. Then she held her hand out to my belly, looked at my face, and finally placed her outstretched hand on my bump, and proceeded to make small rubbing motions.

"Thank you for not being offended. Let's see...." she began, "are we having a girl?"

"A boy," I said-- my smile felt much tighter now.

"Oh," she said with a gasp. "Then he is going to be very sensitive. You be careful with his heart, ok?"

"Ok, I will."

Then she turned and started walking back up the hill.

"Um...thank you." I called.

"Mhmmm," she called back, "and keep walking, momma.  It's coming sooner than you think!"

She was right about his sensitivity, but it's not his heart I need to worry about. Henry is very sensitive to cow's milk products. It took eleven weeks of a crying, miserable baby to figure this out, so the transition to no dairy was totally worth it...but the rewards don't make it easy. Think about it: No cheese. No ice cream. No cream cheese. I went from the thrilling freedom of being able to eat whatever I wanted, to a diet far more restricted than my pregnant one had been. To make matters worse I learned a few weeks in to the dairy-free lifestyle that Henry is also sensitive to nuts. But, this is not the complain-a-lot blog--it's the live happy thoughts blog, so that is what we are going to do.
Here are two dairy free recipes among many that have made my eating life happy without dairy or nuts.

The first is a delectable pie that incorporates the ingredients of s'mores. If you like s'mores you will love this pie, and if you don't like s'mores you might still love it--it's that good!

Sensational S'mores Pie 

Meringue crust:
2 egg whites
1 tsp cream of tartar
1/2 C sugar
Pie Filling:
1/2 C margarine/butter
3/4 C sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 oz unsweetened chocolate, melted
1 oz dark chocolate, melted
2 eggs
You will also need:
1 package of graham crackers, crushed into crumbs
1 1/2 C miniature marshmallows
Make the magic:
Heat oven to 275. Generously grease pie tin with margarine or butter. Beat egg whites and cream of tartar until foamy. Add in sugar, one tablespoon at a time. Beat until stiff and glossy. Spoon mixture onto pie tine, pressing against bottom and sides. Bake for 45 minutes in pre-heated oven. Then turn off the heat, and leave in oven with door closed for another 45 minutes. Cool away from draft.

In a large mixing bowl or stand mixer cream the margarine/butter with sugar. Blend in melted chocolate and vanilla. Add eggs one at a time, beat for five minutes after each. Pour chocolate filling into tin with meringue crust and chill for at least two hours.

Once pie is chilled spread graham cracker crumbs over the top, and then top with mini marshmallows. To melt the marshmallows use a torch or the frying pan method (heat up an empty frying pan on high heat. Remove from heat, and throw in marshmallows. Immediately begin shaking vigorously, continue shaking pan for 30-60 seconds before pouring onto pie).

Printable Recipe


And now, for ice cream...well, it is actually frozen custard. I got my inspiration from a recipe on this cute little blog: wholefoodsforwholefamilies Unfortunately, I struggle with embracing the strong coconut flavor, so I adapted the recipe a bit.

When I finally got it right, it was so delicious, I wept for joy. 

Chocolate Frozen Custard

3 cups canned full-fat coconut milk (about 2 cans)
8 large egg yolks
3/4 cup honey
½ cup cocoa powder
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup mini marshmallows (optional)
 
In a large saucepan, heat coconut milk over medium heat until it just starts to simmer.
In a medium bowl, whisk together egg yolks, cocoa powder and honey vigorously. Ladle a small amount of warm coconut milk into the egg mixture and whisk to combine to temper the egg yolks. Continue doing this until about 1/3rd of the coconut milk has been added to the yolks. Pour the remaining coconut milk in with the egg yolks, whisk to combine. 

 Pour the entire mixture back into the large saucepan. Heat over medium-low heat until it reaches about 170 to 175 degrees. The mixture will be thick and easily coat the back of a spoon.
Transfer the custard base to a large bowl and for about an hour. Add vanilla extract and stir to combine.
Refrigerate overnight (at least 6 hours). Pour into your ice cream maker and follow the manufacturer's instructions. When the custard is almost set add in the marshmallows and any other mix-ins.

Printable Recipe

I love dairy, but I love my son more. He is sensitive, but I can't say I wasn't warned. So, thank you, Zoo Lady whose sense of appropriate boundaries was a bit different than mine, for your surprisingly relevant warning. And thank you, Internet, for inspiring me to create and adapt recipes that allow me to eat my feelings without making my baby sick. Give them a try, and happy eating to all of us!

 

"But It's So Wonderful..."

I think that there probably comes a time in every first pregnancy when a terrifying realization hits you harder and faster than your latest case of volatile heartburn. You already know that there is a sweet little baby growing inside your lovely, round belly, but you suddenly understand with shocking sharpness that the baby has to come out of you somehow, and soon.

No matter how often you have thought about the birthing process, and regardless of the trepidation you may have already felt, you inevitably experience a paralyzing fear as you notice that there are more incredibly swollen fingers on your hand than weeks left on your kick counter.

And that baby has to come out somehow. When I experienced this realization, I alternated between moments of courageous calm, and moments of frantic panic. I racked my brain trying to think of ways to escape. And because my brain was no longer fully functional my ideas for escaping were completely absurd. For example:
"I'll hide behind that pole." Yeah, right.
"Maybe I can cryogenically freeze myself and defrost when I feel ready." Um...Seriously?
"I will hop that fence and make a run for it." Bahahaha! 

I was fine through my due date--ready as I would ever be for my son to come. But then, as I continued to exist with no signs of labor, I really felt that I could stay that pregnant forever, and it seemed silly to mess with that possibility.

But, everyone around me had other ideas, and an induction was scheduled for six days after my due date. Cue the rapid fire of implausible escape routes. The suddenly dreaded day arrived, and I found myself waddling into the hospital with an almost tangible weight of fear on my shoulders, though I was already heavier than I thought possible.

To my relief and amazement the induction started well, and by well I mean amazing, because even though I was having major contractions, and hadn't been given any pain medications, I didn't feel a thing. My nurse was declaring things like, "maybe you'll just sail through this whole thing. That happens you know." I didn't think I would be that lucky, but maybe it wouldn't be too bad. Um... no, definitely not. Discomfort swept in at an alarming rate, and within minutes I was begging for my epidural. If you are familiar with the course of a normal delivery without complications then you know the gist of what happened during the rest of my childbirth experience. All in all it wasn't that bad. But it was bad.Without giving you a play by play of the gory ordeal, let me just say, unspeakable things happened to me in that room, unspeakable things.

Equally ineffable was the result.

Before I was pregnant, even before starting a family had even become a topic of interest for my husband and I, my mother-in-law would regale me with horror stories about her own pregnancy and child birth experiences. At the end of each episode, upon noticing the expression of terror on my face she would conclude with one of the following phrases: "but it's so wonderful," or, "but it's really magical," or, "but when ________ (insert beautiful aspect of pregnancy) happens you feel so happy." I felt sure that this was done to prevent me from swearing off motherhood forever.

Throughout my pregnancy this was a running joke. Every time a pregnancy symptom was bothering me my husband or I would comment, "but it's so magical," and laugh it off. But by the end of my nine + months of gestational misery-bliss, I knew that it was true, and true of childbirth as well. It is wonderful that a woman's body can grow another human, it is magical to be a participant in that process, and when you hold your new baby in your arms for the first time you feel so happy. 

I have been told that you forget it all once it's over, and that the pain is softened by memory. In my experience this is not true. I remember with perfect clarity the things I had to endure to bring my son into the world. Yes, childbirth can be horrifying (and raising your baby isn't always a picnic either), but the reason I hope to do it all over again is this: it. is. so. magical. and wonderful. and happy. I have been gloriously blessed to bear my son, and I think about that every day. Not all women are given this most precious opportunity, and knowing that makes my heart ache, but also reminds me to have gratitude. This is not a fate you want to escape, so set aside any fence hopping, sneaky hiding, and self-freezing plans you may have, and instead repeat these words in your mind: "it is so magical".

How to DIY Without Breaking the Bank

Do it yourself projects are all the rage these days, and with a plethora of free tutorials to be found on the internet, they are easier to complete than ever.Those who DIY generally fall into one of three categories: those who DIY for fun, those who DIY to create something unique, and those who DIY because they are too poor to do things any other way. If you most often fall in the third group, like me, the philosophy is fairly simple:

Bargain materials + elbow grease = $ < buying something new

This can run you into two problems. The first is that some projects actually cost more to make than to buy, and, the second is that some projects are beyond the reaches of your budget even after the savings. This post will give you 7 tips on how to avoid both of these blunders. But first, an example of success and failure.

When I was pregnant with Henry I was beyond excited to decorate his nursery. I was determined to make our baby's room the cutest ever! I looked at our budget to see what we could spend on making my extravagant Baby pinterest board a reality, and the results were devastating. $200. That's $200 for a whole room, including furniture (minus crib)! Luckily I had some solid DIY experience at this point that made the challenge doable. Success! (See my DIY nursery after the 7 steps.)

Now let's back up to a time when I wasn't as savvy. When first married, Zac and I fell in love a project idea--a magnetic hanging scrabble board with magnetic scrabble tiles. It was so cool! We then stumbled across an old medical dictionary at a thrift store for $2. We decided to take it apart and modge podge the pages onto our board. We set a total budget of $50 for the project, which was living pretty big at the time, believe me. This is how the project went down:

Found a frame at Hobby Lobby on sale for $30
Found steel to fit our frame $60 (noticing a problem yet?)
Learned we needed to treat the steel with primer to prevent rust $6
Bought hardware to hold metal in place $4

Running Total $102 Um....woopsy!

At this point we had doubled our budget, spending more than we could afford, and it didn't even have tiles yet (which are actually pretty costly). We hang our beautiful board, but it is sadly incomplete. FAILURE!

 

Here is a list of our mistakes:

• Not setting a budget before committing to the project
• Beginning without doing the proper research of what materials cost and where to find them
• Not creating a plan of action
• Going beyond our budget instead of finding creative solutions

If I were to do this project over again, these are the 7 steps I would take:

1. Create a budget. How much can you afford to spend on this? Since this is all you can afford, this budget is set in stone unless you get some surprise extra cash flow.

2. Make a list of ALL needed supplies. You don't want to get caught by surprise materials that can add up and ruin your budget.

3. Assess your resources. I like to call these "already-haves." The great things about an already-have is that it is free. This is an especially useful technique if you have craft materials or furniture around the house that aren't getting much use. The best place to find an already-have is probably your garage.

4. Do your research. How much are materials? Where can materials be found, and what are the most cost-effective methods for completing the project?

5. Readjust your plan as necessary. If the research numbers exceed your budget, it is time to revise and make some changes. It may even be necessary to set the project aside all together until you have more $ to put in your budget.

6. Collect materials, and be savvy--this might mean being patient and collecting over time. Coupons and Freebies are are great ways to go. I buy supplies with Micheal's and Joann's coupons as they come out, and then begin my project once I have them all. Check with family, friends, and Craigslist for freebies. Hit up thrift stores for great deals as well.

7. Begin your project, and when you hit a bump be creative about the solution without compromising your budget. The staff at home improvement stores can be very helpful with this.

Henry's DIY Nursery

Here is what I did with that $200 budget. It isn't all technically DIY because some things were cheaper to just buy. Following these 7 steps made it all possible:

Rug $25

Found it at TJ Max!

Reupholstered and repainted glider $40

 

The glider was a freebie, and we shopped around to find the cheapest spray paint (it was at Lowe's), and went to a local fabric store (not a chain) to find this great fabric at a reasonable price.

Changing Table repainted $35

 

This changing table was $25 at a local thrift store, but a few coats of paint and added hardware give it a new life.

Cabinet repainted with new hardware $14

 

This cabinet is actually half of a freebie entertainment center that we cut in half, repainted, and added new hardware to.

Book Shelf $0

This shelf was a freebie and we coated it with already-have paint!

Wall Art $35

This was an incredible combination of already-haves, freebies, and couponing with a little help from IKEA and Etsy.

Ottoman $8

I hunted around a bit before finding this little beauty on Target clearance.

Lamp $12

Found the base at a thrift store and the shade on clearance at TJ Max.

Mobile $10

 I created my own pattern, and used coupons.

Even Henry is in awe!

Total = $179 That's right-- UNDER BUDGET! I did decide to splurge a little on the elephant and lion drawer pulls when a little extra $ came in. They were purchased on Etsy and really complete the room.

I smile every time I walk into that room, and see all of the beautiful hard work done by myself and family members to make my fantasy nursery a reality without breaking the bank! I hope this post helps you be successful with your own DIY adventures!

Teething Bites

Teething Bites…no really, it does. My son, Henry, who is four months, is officially teething. Our supplies include several first class teethers such as Sophie the giraffe, a crinkle giraffe that has lovingly been named Penelope, and a key ring by Nuby, all of which I adore. These pacify Henry for up to five minutes at a time, at which point he casually discards them, and then wails until we give him something better.

What could be better? Well, one superior and completely organic teether is Zac’s pointer finger—either is fine. Henry would happily chew on Zac’s finger until the end of time, but because soggy fingers are uncomfortable, and for fear of losing the finger all together, he is never permitted to enjoy it for more than 10 minutes at a time. Upon discovering this super soothing technique I tried offering Henry my own finger. He quickly made it clear that my finger was at the bottom of the teething totem pole, which actually hurt my feelings a little; however, a day or two later he revealed that I had something just as tantalizing to offer…my chin.

The first time it happened was terrifying. Henry had been sitting quietly on my lap, when I lifted him for a snuggle. He smiled, babbled cutely, and then put his cheek against my cheek in the most adorable way possible. I have the most perfect baby ever, I thought blissfully. That’s when he attacked. He arched his back and then charged at me, achieving incredible speed. His little mouth was opened wider than I thought possible as he clamped down on my chin like a drooling, cherubic zombie and proceeded to munch voraciously. In a panic I removed my chin from his currently toothless mouth. He let out a cry of misery, and thinking it was a fluke I pulled him close, trying to comfort him. My chin was once again between his gums.

Now that the shock was over I realized that this was kind of hilarious, and started laughing, while pulling him away from my face once more (because believe me, a soggy chin is infinitely worse than a soggy finger). I figured that this attack was born of desperation, and so I offered him my finger, which he speedily and vehemently rejected. Sigh! I quickly grabbed Penelope, which appeased him for the usual five minutes, at which point the wave of extreme discomfort seemed to have passed.

Henry’s fervent longing for my chin has not waned with time, He still surprises me with occasional sneak attacks, and since the process of teeth emerging from your gums is a horrifying one, sometimes I let him gnaw on my chin for a minute before pulling him off (when no other teethers are available). Does it leave my chin soggy and gross? Of course it does! But when so many aspects of motherhood are soggy and gross, why draw the line at chin chewing? In the meantime, I pray that we all survive this teething process with the same number of fingers and chins we began with.