Indescribable

Last week a neighbor described someone to my husband and me. His description went as follows:

"She's about 100 lbs, 100 years old, and she sounds like dinosaurs!"

Zac and I talked for a good thirty minutes after getting home about how one tiny and elderly woman could sounds like multiple extinct creatures, but we got the point--she makes a lot of noise in her apartment.

As I have thought about this, I noticed a few things. First, this woman's defining characteristics (according to my neighbor) are her age, size, and that she is noisy. I wondered what someone who knew her really well would say to form a description. I doubt that dinosaurs would be included.

I'm afraid of what someone like my neighbor might say to describe me. It could probably be limited to one word: messy. Between my consistently disheveled and frazzled appearance, and the current state of my home (let's just say we're unpacked but not all moved in), it would seem pretty accurate.

However, if you were to ask my husband, or my mother, or Henry (though you probably wouldn't get much out of him), to describe me I doubt they would come up with the word messy. When the people who love you describe you they describe you from your core--and messy is not in my core.

In my experience, when describing someone I love I usually have a large list of wonderful characteristics. I can't make it more concise than that. I know them well enough to understand them and who and what they are more completely than an acquaintance could. One word won't cut it. Even after a thorough description, it feels inaccurate. Even the most eloquent adjectives in the English language can't capture an actual person.

When I have to describe Zac and Henry--the two people I spend my time with and know best--I just can't.  They are mostly indescribable though a few words like glorious and wonderful come close. I think the best description of a person is their name, as they alone have defined it. The name Henry is a symbol of all of the things my son is already, and when I say it I mean it as a description of him in all of his indescribable-ness (not a real word, I know).  

I think that Henry should grow to trust my description of him as someone who loves him and knows him. I hope that he will listen to the descriptions provided by people who, like me, love him dearly, and ignore the inaccurate and sometimes hurtful words of others who do not understand him as well.

People who don't know you, and don't know your core should refrain from describing you in an inaccurate and/or hurtful way, but they often don't. Ignore them, and listen instead to the voices of those who do know you, and then believe them. Please don't limit yourself to one or two words unless that word is your own name. You are much, much more than a handful of adjectives--in a beautiful and indescribable way.

Love,
Miriam