Button Earring Holder

The Monette's are downsizing! After months of searching Zac and I concluded that to stay in the nice part of Reno we would have to rent a smaller apartment. Our final outcome is a one bedroom apartment--almost 300 square feet smaller. We are excited about the move, but it is requiring a lot of preparation. Because we currently fill up our much larger townhouse many of our possessions are going into a storage unit (which I refer to as an off-site garage), and some are going to the local Goodwill drop off site. In addition, the things we are taking with us need to be efficiently organized to fit in the space. This particular task is most difficult with organizing my craft things. Many can probably relate--but I have no idea how I ended up with so much stuff!

All the time I have spent elbow deep in craft supplies suddenly reminded me of a tutorial that I never shared. This project is all about efficient storage--of stud earrings! There are plenty of display/storage options for dangle earrings, but stud earrings prove a little more difficult. My lovely sister-in-law asked me for advice on how to overcome this difficulty, and a very long time later I made this for her birthday present. Zac is responsible for the concept--he's so smart!

Button Earring Holder

You will need: a picture frame, buttons (with four holes), elastic string, and glue (E6000 is pictured, but I ended using hot glue for much of it and it worked great! 

You can immediately discard the frame's glass and stock photo.

 

Use a piece of the elastic string (the length of your frame) to tie a knot through two of the four button holes. Then tie another button to the other end of the string. Repeat this process four times (or however many will fit in your frame.

Glue the buttons (flattest side down) to the inside of the back of your frame. I recommend hot glue for this.

Hold the button in place until the glue is set.

Tie a piece of string through two of the holes of each button.

Use the string on the side to tie it to the strings glued in place. 

Make sure your knot is facing the backside of the frame. Repeat until all of the buttons are attached!

Close up frame (I ended up painted the background gold), and you're ready for earrings!

Here is a picture of the completed project complete with her earrings! (I stole it from her Facebook--hope that's not weird!)

I love that the elastic string makes it easy to get the earring off and on! 

If you end up making this project please let me know how it went.

Now, it's back to organizing craft supplies for me--have a great weekend!

Low On Time

These days it seems as though my to-do lists are much longer than the 24 hour periods I assign them to. I have come to the startling prediction that this overwhelming predicament will likely continue throughout my career as a mother.

Now, I am the type of person who LOVES lists, and loves to cross things off of my lists. Before becoming a mom I always completed my daily list by the end of the day no matter what. Finishing the list made me feel like an industrial, useful person--successful. After becoming a mom my daily list is never completed. Never! Seriously, it has no end. Each evening
the leftovers remain, and by morning there are plenty more tasks to keep them company.

At first, this resulted in feelings of failure, uselessness, and slothfulness. I would look over my life and feel a rising sense of panic: I was living each day with very little to show for it. These feelings were very difficult to shake as piles of laundry became mountains, half-done projects were strewn about the house, and errands remained undone.

This problem was heightened by a deliciously lovely baby who though mobile, loves to snuggle (a really nice problem to have). Henry plays independently each day, but not for long enough to complete an entire task. When he gets tired of not having my attention, he crawls over to wherever I am and pulls himself up on my pant legs. Then he holds tight with a fist closed over each leg, puts his head between my knees and yells at me, presumably to make sure I am aware of his presence. This has resulted in the perfecting of a rather complex maneuver used to retrieve him, but it does not save me time or help me to get things done.

My view changed one night as I held Henry in my arms after he had fallen asleep. I looked at his sweet little face, and forgot all about my giant list of left-overs. Instead, I wondered if I had been the kind of mother he deserved that day. Did I play with him? Did I try to teach him something? Did I communicate through my actions that he is more important than the list? Did I give him all of the snuggles and loves that he needed?

I suddenly realized that as long as I could honestly answer each question with a yes, the list didn't matter. Time is a precious resource--it exhausts quickly, and there is not much of it. The truth is: there will never be enough time in the day for me to finish my list. Success in my job as a mother is measured by my ability to prioritize well--not in the number of tasks I get done each day.  And if another rendition of "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" is performed in place of washing dishes--so be it!

Fathers: We Need Them

The world needs more fathers. A lot more. Our world is suffering from a major father deficit. For some bizarre reason, our society has concocted the idea that fathers are unnecessary. Our society is wrong. We need them. The devaluation of fatherhood takes many forms, the most illustrative being the ever present archetypal "idiot father" overly represented in television shows. Whatever the approach may be it succeeds in sending the same message: "We don't need you. We are doing just fine without you. You just get in the way."  We need to send a very different message.

Fathers, we do need you:

And for more than just a genetic contribution, and/or financial support. You are not just half of the DNA, you are half of everything. I'm a pretty darn good mother, and my baby adores me, but I am not perfect. If I denied my child the opportunity to have a father I would be sincerely ripping him off. How? Because I am only providing him with half of what he deserves. Zac plays games with Henry that I don't know, sings songs that I have never heard (some of which he makes up), soothes differently, teaches differently, and even has a different technique for successful diaper changes. Missing this 50% of his parenting would be unfair, and the injustice would only grow as my baby does.

Fathers, we aren't doing just fine without you:

Okay, just because missing a parent is common now, doesn't mean that the negative consequences have disappeared. The critical lessons that both boys and girls learn from their fathers are being skipped. We have a lot of problems in our society that have a huge presence in the media right now, outfitted with an entourage of hash tags and celebrity spokespersons. The solution to these problems, is in large part to bring back the fathers.

Fathers, you are not getting in the way:

This entire concept is twisted. Getting in the way of what? What goals do mother's have that are more important than the influence of an entire parent? An entire person? What incredible heights of intelligence have women achieved that the lowly men we allow to father our children couldn't possibly understand? This ideology is born from female supremacists, who currently call themselves feminists. It is wrong. It is perverse. There is more than one right way to change a diaper, and more than one right way to do almost everything else a parent does too.

Certainly there are exceptions to the rule--I was raised by a single mother who did a phenomenal job. But the great majority of children deserve access to their fathers. This is the generation of parents that could give the proper value back to fatherhood.

Here are some ideas I have of how:

Ladies--

• if you are single pay attention to what kind of father your dates would be. Believe me, it matters. Some day you will grow up and chances are good that you will become a mother. It is your responsibility to skip the duds. You owe it to the children you don't know yet. You owe it to them to pick a good father for them. They are counting on you. No duds.
• if you are a married mother allow your husband to be involved. Encourage him to fill the fatherly roles that he is comfortable with. Relax a little about the things that don't matter too much. Refrain from criticizing his parenting skills unless it is absolutely necessary.
• if you are unmarried mother let the father of your children be as involved as is safe. Again, refrain from overly criticizing. If he is a truly unfit parent find other trust-worthy father figures for your children. Don't leave it to chance. 

Gentlemen--

• Prepare to be a good father. Pay attention to good fathers around you. Emulate them. Prepare to be a grown up. It will happen some day, and shirking your responsibilities is unacceptable.
• If you are already a father be the best one you can be. Give your kids the gift of time. Teach your children good things.Work with their mother (whether she is your wife or not), to reach an agreement that you are both comfortable with. Your pride is never going to be worth more than your children. Never.

AND SHOW APPRECIATION FOR FATHERS EVERY CHANCE YOU GET!

Because we sure need them!

How to Marry the Perfect Husband

I had a whole introduction for this post written out, but when I read it back it sounded really pretentious. So, here are the facts: I am married, and we are very happy. There are ways to prepare for a happy marriage (and be happier now), and I have identified ten of them. Here they are:

1. Learn to be an above average friend. Go out of your way to think of and meet the needs of your friends. Be a good listener, and be loyal. Say kind things to them and about them. Spending time with you should make your friends feel good about themselves, and bring out the best in them.
2. Become an extraordinary roommate. This step is quite like #1, but harder. In addition to above average friend duties you also have to set up clear boundaries and lines of communication, and learn to keep the peace by squelching drama with a loving attitude. Hard? Yes! But remember that this behavior will do a lot more for you than for them. Whether you live with family or a group of semi-strangers the way you treat them is incredibly similar to the way you will treat your husband.
3. Work out your crap, and do it now. When you do eventually tie the knot you are going to have to combine all of your old stuff and new stuff, and there really isn't room for any extra baggage. Your heart needs to be wide open when you are newly married, and then stay that way.
4. Be more freaking patient than you ever thought possible. Some women feel entitled to get annoyed,  or think it is their prerogative to be grumpy they aren't feeling well (you know when I mean). If this is you, then I have bad news: The door swing both ways, sweetheart. It is your responsibility to try to be pleasant regardless of what you are feeling (though grumpiness will still sneak through sometimes). It is your duty to see things in the proper perspective. A toilet seat left up or socks on the floor aren't worth getting upset over. I think we can all agree that fighting sucks, and making up is overrated. It is far superior to just not fight in the first place. Patient people don't fight, they disagree. When you disagree you remain calm and pleasant and rational.
5. Expect others to treat you with respect at all times, and do not associate with those who don't. It may be time to clean out your friend fridge. Throw out everything rotten, and keep the good stuff. You may have forgotten some of the awesome, yummy stuff in there because stinky leftovers were in the way. Putting up with people who don't treat you well is a bad habit to have and may stick you with an unacceptable spouse.
6. Live your life now! I realize that there were extenuating circumstances (cursed spinning wheels and such), but even so, consider all of the amazing stuff Sleeping Beauty didn't experience because she was just waiting for a prince to find her. Mistake number one: she was so obsessed with being found by a prince she just slept for 100 years until he found her. Mistake number two: She was waiting in the most obscure place possible. It's a miracle he found her at all. Trust me, no one swoon worthy will find you if your hiding out feeling sorry for yourself.
7. Love your body. Take pride in your appearance. You should feel beautiful and confident when you look in the mirror, and that is generally going to take some effort. Dress nicely, style your hair, and put on a little make up, paint your nails, etc. Do whatever combination it takes to feel good about the way you look. Change what can be changed, and don't get hung up on the rest. You and Mr. Wonderful are going to be too busy doing awesome things and being crazy in love when you finally get together for him to spend ten minutes making you feel good about yourself every day. It would seriously throw off your groove!
8. Work! And work hard. Develop a good work ethic and learn how to self-motivate. Gain independence and become assertive. Good partner's depend on each other, and you need to know how to work if you are going to be dependable.
9. Learn everything you can. Read, go to school, attend workshops, do anything that increases your knowledge of good things and widens your view of the world.
10. Become a forgiver. Learn to let go of anger. Don't hold grudges, but remember step #5. Becoming a forgiver doesn't mean that you let people take advantage of you again and again. It means letting your heart feel peaceful instead of hurt and angry. Forgiving quickly (relatively) in marriages is key to a healthy relationship. Partner's don't try to assume a superior role to punish each other. They view each other as equals and work out solutions together. Practice forgiveness for the big and little things you have been holding on to.

Mastery of these ten steps is the work of a life time. I celebrated my third wedding anniversary this week, and as I wrote this post my thoughts were full of the steps I can take to improve on these as well. You aren't aiming to become perfect, but you do want to improve and become better. Some people won't like this list because it is so idealistic. Ladies, the idealism is completely intentional. Improvement is hard work, it's changing aspects of your personality so that you become better. If you are of the "this is just the way I am" philosophy that is fine, but you need to understand that every aspect of your life will be "just the way it is" too. You are in charge of your own life, and you get to choose what kind of woman you will be. So, what kind of woman will you be?

My final tip is this: NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS THAN YOU DESERVE. You are just as valuable single as you are married, so don't feel pressured to marry the first person who comes along just for the sake of getting married. Keep sifting through frogs until you find your prince, and trust me-- he will come someday.