Fathers: We Need Them

The world needs more fathers. A lot more. Our world is suffering from a major father deficit. For some bizarre reason, our society has concocted the idea that fathers are unnecessary. Our society is wrong. We need them. The devaluation of fatherhood takes many forms, the most illustrative being the ever present archetypal "idiot father" overly represented in television shows. Whatever the approach may be it succeeds in sending the same message: "We don't need you. We are doing just fine without you. You just get in the way."  We need to send a very different message.

Fathers, we do need you:

And for more than just a genetic contribution, and/or financial support. You are not just half of the DNA, you are half of everything. I'm a pretty darn good mother, and my baby adores me, but I am not perfect. If I denied my child the opportunity to have a father I would be sincerely ripping him off. How? Because I am only providing him with half of what he deserves. Zac plays games with Henry that I don't know, sings songs that I have never heard (some of which he makes up), soothes differently, teaches differently, and even has a different technique for successful diaper changes. Missing this 50% of his parenting would be unfair, and the injustice would only grow as my baby does.

Fathers, we aren't doing just fine without you:

Okay, just because missing a parent is common now, doesn't mean that the negative consequences have disappeared. The critical lessons that both boys and girls learn from their fathers are being skipped. We have a lot of problems in our society that have a huge presence in the media right now, outfitted with an entourage of hash tags and celebrity spokespersons. The solution to these problems, is in large part to bring back the fathers.

Fathers, you are not getting in the way:

This entire concept is twisted. Getting in the way of what? What goals do mother's have that are more important than the influence of an entire parent? An entire person? What incredible heights of intelligence have women achieved that the lowly men we allow to father our children couldn't possibly understand? This ideology is born from female supremacists, who currently call themselves feminists. It is wrong. It is perverse. There is more than one right way to change a diaper, and more than one right way to do almost everything else a parent does too.

Certainly there are exceptions to the rule--I was raised by a single mother who did a phenomenal job. But the great majority of children deserve access to their fathers. This is the generation of parents that could give the proper value back to fatherhood.

Here are some ideas I have of how:

Ladies--

• if you are single pay attention to what kind of father your dates would be. Believe me, it matters. Some day you will grow up and chances are good that you will become a mother. It is your responsibility to skip the duds. You owe it to the children you don't know yet. You owe it to them to pick a good father for them. They are counting on you. No duds.
• if you are a married mother allow your husband to be involved. Encourage him to fill the fatherly roles that he is comfortable with. Relax a little about the things that don't matter too much. Refrain from criticizing his parenting skills unless it is absolutely necessary.
• if you are unmarried mother let the father of your children be as involved as is safe. Again, refrain from overly criticizing. If he is a truly unfit parent find other trust-worthy father figures for your children. Don't leave it to chance. 

Gentlemen--

• Prepare to be a good father. Pay attention to good fathers around you. Emulate them. Prepare to be a grown up. It will happen some day, and shirking your responsibilities is unacceptable.
• If you are already a father be the best one you can be. Give your kids the gift of time. Teach your children good things.Work with their mother (whether she is your wife or not), to reach an agreement that you are both comfortable with. Your pride is never going to be worth more than your children. Never.

AND SHOW APPRECIATION FOR FATHERS EVERY CHANCE YOU GET!

Because we sure need them!