How to Marry the Perfect Husband

I had a whole introduction for this post written out, but when I read it back it sounded really pretentious. So, here are the facts: I am married, and we are very happy. There are ways to prepare for a happy marriage (and be happier now), and I have identified ten of them. Here they are:

1. Learn to be an above average friend. Go out of your way to think of and meet the needs of your friends. Be a good listener, and be loyal. Say kind things to them and about them. Spending time with you should make your friends feel good about themselves, and bring out the best in them.
2. Become an extraordinary roommate. This step is quite like #1, but harder. In addition to above average friend duties you also have to set up clear boundaries and lines of communication, and learn to keep the peace by squelching drama with a loving attitude. Hard? Yes! But remember that this behavior will do a lot more for you than for them. Whether you live with family or a group of semi-strangers the way you treat them is incredibly similar to the way you will treat your husband.
3. Work out your crap, and do it now. When you do eventually tie the knot you are going to have to combine all of your old stuff and new stuff, and there really isn't room for any extra baggage. Your heart needs to be wide open when you are newly married, and then stay that way.
4. Be more freaking patient than you ever thought possible. Some women feel entitled to get annoyed,  or think it is their prerogative to be grumpy they aren't feeling well (you know when I mean). If this is you, then I have bad news: The door swing both ways, sweetheart. It is your responsibility to try to be pleasant regardless of what you are feeling (though grumpiness will still sneak through sometimes). It is your duty to see things in the proper perspective. A toilet seat left up or socks on the floor aren't worth getting upset over. I think we can all agree that fighting sucks, and making up is overrated. It is far superior to just not fight in the first place. Patient people don't fight, they disagree. When you disagree you remain calm and pleasant and rational.
5. Expect others to treat you with respect at all times, and do not associate with those who don't. It may be time to clean out your friend fridge. Throw out everything rotten, and keep the good stuff. You may have forgotten some of the awesome, yummy stuff in there because stinky leftovers were in the way. Putting up with people who don't treat you well is a bad habit to have and may stick you with an unacceptable spouse.
6. Live your life now! I realize that there were extenuating circumstances (cursed spinning wheels and such), but even so, consider all of the amazing stuff Sleeping Beauty didn't experience because she was just waiting for a prince to find her. Mistake number one: she was so obsessed with being found by a prince she just slept for 100 years until he found her. Mistake number two: She was waiting in the most obscure place possible. It's a miracle he found her at all. Trust me, no one swoon worthy will find you if your hiding out feeling sorry for yourself.
7. Love your body. Take pride in your appearance. You should feel beautiful and confident when you look in the mirror, and that is generally going to take some effort. Dress nicely, style your hair, and put on a little make up, paint your nails, etc. Do whatever combination it takes to feel good about the way you look. Change what can be changed, and don't get hung up on the rest. You and Mr. Wonderful are going to be too busy doing awesome things and being crazy in love when you finally get together for him to spend ten minutes making you feel good about yourself every day. It would seriously throw off your groove!
8. Work! And work hard. Develop a good work ethic and learn how to self-motivate. Gain independence and become assertive. Good partner's depend on each other, and you need to know how to work if you are going to be dependable.
9. Learn everything you can. Read, go to school, attend workshops, do anything that increases your knowledge of good things and widens your view of the world.
10. Become a forgiver. Learn to let go of anger. Don't hold grudges, but remember step #5. Becoming a forgiver doesn't mean that you let people take advantage of you again and again. It means letting your heart feel peaceful instead of hurt and angry. Forgiving quickly (relatively) in marriages is key to a healthy relationship. Partner's don't try to assume a superior role to punish each other. They view each other as equals and work out solutions together. Practice forgiveness for the big and little things you have been holding on to.

Mastery of these ten steps is the work of a life time. I celebrated my third wedding anniversary this week, and as I wrote this post my thoughts were full of the steps I can take to improve on these as well. You aren't aiming to become perfect, but you do want to improve and become better. Some people won't like this list because it is so idealistic. Ladies, the idealism is completely intentional. Improvement is hard work, it's changing aspects of your personality so that you become better. If you are of the "this is just the way I am" philosophy that is fine, but you need to understand that every aspect of your life will be "just the way it is" too. You are in charge of your own life, and you get to choose what kind of woman you will be. So, what kind of woman will you be?

My final tip is this: NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS THAN YOU DESERVE. You are just as valuable single as you are married, so don't feel pressured to marry the first person who comes along just for the sake of getting married. Keep sifting through frogs until you find your prince, and trust me-- he will come someday.